New experiences

A Tug of War between  Fate and me

An event , so idiotically simple yet unbelievably fascinating to the author who had never experienced a dramatic fever 

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                                                                Chapter   1 

As a very introverted individual, my insides clam up at the thought of interacting with new people. Although I have made mild progress in that field, I still shudder at the thought of that. My parents shake their heads sternly at my anti-social behaviour as they believe that interaction is a skill that should be achieved regardless of however scared you are of the outside world. They are very much right because interaction with new people is a different way of broadening your perspectives as you listen to their thoughts which might differ greatly from yours.

I know that very well by now but It still didn't stop me from staying away for a whole week from college at the start of my first year.

It was, near the end of August, that our new term had begun. I was terrified of course , there was nobody that I knew over there and It scared the living hell out of me. The next week , however , I decided that I would go on Saturday so that I can get the weekend to just recharge my social battery and renew myself for the few days ahead. On Friday , I was fidgeting through the entire day, checking my backpack, recharging my phone and doing a mental countdown of the hours left to go to my very first day of college. At night , a fierce thunderstorm broke out, cold winds blowing around the town with raindrops the size of fat bullets. The road outside my house wasn't constructed. It was more or less , like a muddy slide with almost no chances of letting vehicles pass through it during rainy days. In short, the road was unnecessarily muddy which required you to wear shoes if you wanted to pass through it. The weather was harsh and at that time, the second wave of Covid had nearly abated but the season where everybody got sick at the same time had started. And it's really horrible when that season also invites you forcefully to it's party.

The story slowly is starting to not make any sense but please bear with me as I relate to you the complexities of human nature and how fate loves to play with you. I do not like the timings of it's playtimes but I guess they are worth it.

My bed was next to the window which was open. I didn't mind the sinisterly-cold winds blowing through it because I thought it was cool.  After a few minutes, I fell asleep.

....

My eyes open and stare at the darkness around me. I realise that the room had gone very cold. I struggle to free myself from my blankets but my mind was so wound up, It dismissed the unnatural chill in my body which wouldn't allow me to move without my teeth chattering. I strain my neck behind to stare groggily at the clock behind. After a few moments, my eyes register the time; 4:00 am.

It's four in the morning and I am wide awake.

I groan as I realise what this means. Of course, I am very nervous...so nervous that I can't sleep.

I spend the next hour before my morning prayer, thinking about the most ridiculous things my imagination could probably come up untill the time came to finally get up.I realised that I was cold to the bone and the blanket wasn't doing a great job of warming me up. With some difficulty, I manage to get up and when I finally do...a horrible feeling of utter devastation shot through me. 

"Could I have a fever?"

"No way...No freaking way. I spent the entire week stressing out for this one day and I don't think I can repeat that stupid cycle again"

I silently got up from my bed and headed to my mother who was awake. When I asked her to put her palm on my forehead, she did as I asked. The second she touched my forehead, there was literally ' NO WAY ARE YOU GOING TO ATTEND COLLEGE TODAY ' written with the expression that she made at me.

I was too done with life to argue with her.

How does it feel when you motivate yourself to do something that you don't like at all but fate just postpones that, leaving you to stew in those nasty feelings of uncertainty mixed with irritation ? Why did I fall sick, today of all the days ?!  

" Dealing with a fever is of  second-hand nature to me ",  I thought to myself haughtily as I swallowed the medicine. " I will be better in no time! "  , I told myself.

It is 5 : 45 in the morning. In the 3 hours before college starts, will the fever bow down from my body as quickly as it had come or will it chain me down? Will it listen to my anxiety-ridden woes and leave me? Will it , for this one time, look the other way for me as I venture out into my life?

These were the questions my mind churned out before my eyelids dropped and my world turned to black.

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