Failure and coming out on the top as students
When we don’t meet expectations and are met with lack of
success, we are called as ‘failures’. The word in itself feels embarrassing and
painful to hear because we all have had downs in our life. And sometimes, there
are certain failures that we had that were impossible to turn into a successful
endeavor: like a demolished building.
As students, our failures feel more pronounced and
un-forgiving in this ‘winning-is-everything’ society. We feel like our score in
every subject is the endgame. Even the best students encounter an obstacle, no
matter how much they had planned out their day. Failing while procrastinating
and passing time is inevitable. I have failed because of it, you have failed
and so has everyone. Purposely not putting effort and knowing that you would
probably face consequences is a different thing. I scored a 43 in Chemistry,
knowing full well I could probably get yelled at. And I did get yelled at. I
was told that I was a shame. No big deal. Totally did not feel humiliation in
front of 80 students (I am being sarcastic here).
I believe that we students are already burdened with
career-counseling and parental pressure to even think about coming out on top.
Whilst they say that diamonds are formed under intense pressure, you can’t just
apply that logic to a bunch of students and expect them to have the maturity to
accept the challenge. There are some students who require that push but the way
society wants to spawn doctors and engineers everywhere is just antagonizing to
even hear. While some students have the luck to do whatever they want, the same
cannot be said for those who are charting out their careers based on their
family’s wishes. It is indeed a noble thing as a son/daughter to value your parent’s
opinion but honestly, parents have become borderline obsessive to create
doctors in their homes.
Putting students down to drag them up is not a method of
encouragement, in my opinion. Some may recover from it easily, but not
everybody. I was rebuked multiple times for not living up to my image as a
top-scorer, when I never really intended to contest for that kind of attention.
Sure it is fun to enjoy the spotlight for a while but that taste was soured no
sooner when I was being accused for not putting effort in my studies. PU
colleges have tough timings and mine was no exception, despite the fact that it
started from ten in the morning. Combining evening classes, my college ran from
ten to eight in the evening. Those evening classes were purely meant for the
NEET exam but I was forced to attend it. As a perfectionist myself, I tried to
balance out my studies through those hellish times. After a month, I couldn’t
understand why the teacher had to yell at me for scoring so low in my second
mid-terms when I had expressively told her a multiple times that I wasn’t
giving the exam and wished to leave the college at five-thirty.
In those times, when I was constantly being indirectly
compared to the other toppers while at the same time, being rebuked for every
little mistake: it was mandatory for me to maintain a stubborn silence. I
maintained a stony, unbothered demeanor at college and spent hours buried in my
pillow which was always wet with tears of frustration.
Beneath are some of the little things that I followed while
being under pressure of all kinds:
- It is not a bad thing to be optimistic. But it is a hazardous thing to be over-confident in your abilities. Being pessimistic often feels a lot better than being over-confident, because when the results come in; an injured pride is worse than getting the lowest score.
- Keep trying your hardest. So that no matter what happens, deep-down you will always feel that you had done your best. No matter who downgrades, you will sub-consciously feel that you have done your best. Cut down your sleep if you have to. Breaking out of your comfort zone is the only way to your own success.
- Tune out what the world is saying. When you find no one appreciating your small achievements, try a little bit to convince yourself. Convincing yourself of your own small victory goes a long way. If you scored three marks more in chemistry compared to the last paper that is still an achievement. Learn how to be appreciative of the little things that no one sees.
- Cope, cope and keep coping. You can’t convince everybody that you are doing your best. Sometimes your parents listen, sometimes they don’t. Out of the ninety-nine times that you score full marks, a person will always criticize you for that one mistake that you did. There aren’t many people who choose to look around that one mistake and appreciate you for the rest of your good things. Unfortunately, there aren’t many people like that anymore. So it is better to pause the verbal battle and continue to win the silent war. Believe me, it shall work. Show that determination through your actions.
- Keep your connections with hobbies. Paint a simplistic scenery inspired from a Pin on Pinterest. Write a funny story about what you and your friends did. After every exam, indulge your heart and soul in what you like. Get that dopamine flowing through your body. Devote at least one day for your soul to heal. I would paint scenes from Studio Ghibli movies in a sketchbook so that every time I browsed through it, my eyes would be pleased by the colorful pictures. Mind you, none of your art is supposed to be perfect.
- It is not easy. Not many people have a fairytale college life like the one often depicted in the media. Keeping a cool head throughout the time until college end is excruciating. Endurance is what makes life just a bit more colorful. The struggle gives you more character and resilience even if you don’t notice it in yourself.
Difficulties vary for everyone. Your student
life may face issues from other sources rather than parental pressure or peer.
Not every problem is faced through head-on interaction or even solved. Some
problems literally die out after passing out their tortures onto you.So it is a given, that we must keep moving on no matter what,
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